Hello welcome to my blog. My name is Molly and I have made this blog with the intention to share my knowledge I have acquired along my spiritual healing journey in order to help you along yours. I will be sharing with you my first hand experience of:
- Shadow work
- Healing your self with self love and compassion
- Law of attraction
- Energy alchemy
- How to + the benefits of letting go of attachments
- Release emotions stored in the body
- Healing your chakras
- Follow your heart for inner peace and a fulfilling life
- Embodying your higher self
- Raising your vibration
- Ascension
- 5D (unity/soul consciousness) vs 3D consciousness
- Freeing yourself from trauma
- Inner child healing
- Spirit animals and spirit guides
- Authenticity
- How to change your negative self beliefs to heal yourself from: depression, anxiety, codependency, ultra independency, self sabotage, fear of failure, low self esteem and addiction
Today I am going to start with 'how to heal your inner child':
As adults we tend to neglect and even dismiss the needs and desires of our inner children. This leaves us unaware of our wounding and results in us living our life unconsciously in a state of reaction and survival. Without healing our inner child we are not in control of our lives as adults, our hurt inner child is in control of us. It can be hard to distinguish what our inner child really needs (whats truly in our best interest) over what it wants (not in our best interest/ harmful to our well being). When I first started out my journey of healing my inner child I often found it very confusing to decipher which of my inner child's demands to give into and the ones I shouldn't. Now I want to help make it easier for you.
As I have found out along the way we actually have two inner children. I will first start of by speaking about our wounded and hurt inner child. Our hurt inner child will exhibit feelings of jealously, rage, anger, resentment, bitterness, envy, greed, depression, anxiety, fear and has self destructive tendencies and trust issues. This inner child had been hurt growing up and developed defenses in order to protect itself from being hurt in the future, these defense mechanism are evident when you become triggered. This healing is so important because the more these defense mechanism which were once helpful as children are activated as adults, the more on going devastation they cause in our lives. This is a perfect example of things coming full circle, for example; self doubt helped protect me as a child as it had kept me from expressing my authentic self. By using self doubt to inhibit me in this way, I prevented myself from the bullying I endured during school from escalating and becoming worse then it already was. As I grew older self doubt became something harmful to me, as it had made it hard for me to express myself as an adult and impacted my ability to express my emotions and pursue the things my heart desired. As you can see these defense/coping mechanisms become something that was once helpful and vital for our survival when we were a small helpless child and turn into something that is sabotaging us from living a fulfilling and healthy life as adults.
The hurt inner child will cause us to exhibit self-serving behaviours which result in our adult selves feeling guilt and shame. These behaviours cause us to push away our loved ones away due to neglecting their emotional needs in order to meet our own. The other side of the coin is when our hurt inner child cause us to try to please others and self sacrifice to our own detriment in order to receive the love and affection they did not receive growing up. This will often result in built up resentment leading to angry out bursts which also leads to guilt and shame. The inner child who causes us to be self-serving will want to meet its desires at all costs, when this hurt inner child is triggered it will have little regard for the feelings of others when seeking to soothe their emotional pain (as seen with addictions). The inner child which causes us to self sacrifice will often try to meet everyone else needs believing if they give enough love to others, they will be loved in return. When we are not loved in return as we had hoped for, our mental and psychical health will collapse. We will have been unaware of our limits until we end up with an illness which forces us to stop catering to the needs and reluctantly puts us in a position of having to ask for help.
It is not uncommon for the self sacrificing inner child to become self serving and unwilling to please others as their energy, health and resources become exhausted as a result of pouring from an empty cup for too long. This can be seen in adults who were once open hearted, warm and caring who have turned cold and bitter. We end up in a perpetual trap of acting out, avoiding the wound with self destructive behaviours and then feel guilt and shame for these self destructive behaviours. This results in a need to further avoid or numb our emotions.
The other inner child, the healthy one is whole, it feels love, joy, passion, excitement, curiosity, hope and has an open heart and is very trusting. This inner child loves to share with others and is often very generous. This inner child enjoys being creative and knows how to express itself in healthy ways. This inner child is the inner child you had before she or he got hurt, wounded, betrayed, rejected, misunderstood and before the we grew up feeling inadequate because we did not receive the love and emotional support that was required to give us a healthy self esteem.
How do we know which inner child is presenting itself in our adult life?
We will know that our hurt inner child is the one acting out because of the way we get triggered in our everyday life. When we attend to the demands of our hurt inner child we temporarily feel relief but we never end up feeling truly happy and satisfied. This is because our hurt inner child wants what it wants NOW to numb the pain regardless of the consequences. This inner child thinks it knows what it needs but because these "needs" are coming from a place of hurt; we end up validating this inner child's misbehavior the same way we would if we gave our own child a lolly pop for having a tantrum in the shopping center. What we end up doing unconsciously is we validate the misbehavior and avoid getting to the cause of the misbehavior; the inner child's original wounding. Ultimately this leads to long term suffering because we are using short term fixes to sooth the immediate emotional pain. We end up continuing the cycle of self sabotage as we continue to get triggered and unconsciously react emotionally and inappropriately to the thing which triggered us. We feel bad we binge on junk food, take drugs or go on shopping sprees.
What we need to do in order to heal our wounded inner child is validate their core wounds, with love and compassion whilst learning to listen and take the advice of our high self, knowing that our higher self only wants for us that of which is in our best interests. Our higher self is the self who knows whats best for us and encourages us to make choices that will benefit our long term health and well being. The goal of our higher self is to help us make choices which support and enable us to live up to our full potential. Our higher self respects our free will and understands we have to learn from our own mistakes. It unfortunately often means a great deal of suffering must be endured before we "wake up" and consciously chooses to take the advice of our higher selves in the form of self love and healing. A huge game changer for me in my own healing has been to imagine what I would want for my future daughter and treat my own inner child the way I would wish for my daughter. I would show her love and compassion and guide her to make choices which will give her the best life.
By listening to our higher self we are are able to recognize which of our inner child's demands are unhealthy for our long term well being and what is necessary to heal our inner child so it does not need these crutches I explained earlier. We are able to gradually lessen and remove the self sabotaging behaviors from our lives as we tend to the core wound with the understanding and compassion we needed when we were hurt the first time but did not receive. We can chose be the parent or care giver our inner child needed at that time, and ultimately we are then able to embody our higher self. I have learnt to love my triggers now because they show me what needs healing. The more you heal the less you will be triggered.
An example of using your higher self to validate your inner child when its triggered and hurt is to say something like this: "I understand you are in pain and feel hurt, you didn't deserve to be hurt the way you were. I love you unconditionally and want to take your pain away but by acting this way you are only hurting yourself more and jeopardizing your long term happiness. How about we try this healthier way of expressing your feelings (.i.e crying, writing, running etc.) instead and you can tell me how you feel afterwards, if that doesn't work we can try something else until we find something that does". Once you have made this intention to heal the root cause, the original wound, you will often find you will be guided by your higher self towards the solution. There is great power in setting intentions, I look forward to going into this in future posts.
When it comes to being triggered, we need to acknowledge the thing which triggers us in our external environment as an adult did not make the wound.The wound came from something which happened earlier in your life, and in order to heal it you need to feel it. Every time you suppress an emotion to avoid feeling it, you are adding it to your shadow where it will remain in your subconscious and influence the trajectory of your life. Until you have healed these subconscious patterns, you will unconsciously attract people and situations into your life designed to trigger your unhealed wounds for you face and heal them.
I would like to share an example of a common inner child wound and what it looks like unhealed versus healed. This is the unworthiness wound. something in your childhood made you feel unworthy of love. It could be a simple as you getting less attention from your parents at 3 years old after your sister was born. An extreme cause of an unworthiness wound is having your physical needs neglected. Until you heal this wound, in your adult life you will attract people into your life which will trigger this wound. For example; you have a friend who constantly lets you down. She doesn't make the effort you hope for, after all the times you made the effort for her. When your inner child is hurt it will perceive this as "I am not worthy of love" and you will continue to give your best efforts to this friendship despite the little to no effort you receive in return. This results in your unhealed belief that your unworthy of love constantly being reinforced for as long as you hold on to hope your effort will be reciprocated by this friend. When your inner child is healed you will be able to recognize instead "I deserve friends who put in the same effort as me. I am worthy of the love I give others, there is a friend out their who is worthy of my love". By healing this wound you will begin to only attract in to your live friends which value you and make you feel worthy of love. By healing your internal world, you change your external world.
The secret to living a happy fulfilling life is learning how to heal, nourish and support your inner child so when you have a stable roof over your head, paid the bills and had all your physical and emotional needs met your inner child can feel safe to come out to play, express itself, be creative, give love and share your passion with others in a way which enriches your life. When your inner child comes out in this way you will feel abundance and gratitude in your adult life the way you did when you were a child. Remember when $2 made you feel rich when you were 6 years old? This is because you already felt abundant without the money. You had the whole day off school to play with your friends, go adventuring in your own back yard and as long as you had food in your belly, a shirt on your back, you didn't need anything else to feel whole. This is why that $2 made you feel rich because it was a bonus not a substitute for happiness. You were already fulfilled and happy from within. As children we were creative, we could invent play out of anything, we saw abundance in everything. Isn't in wonderful to know we can experience these same feelings as adults, when we heal our inner children. This is where the saying 'view the world through the eyes of a child' comes from.
This post is just the start of what I have to share about inner child healing. I just really wanted to give you a perspective of how differently you could experience life depending on whether you are living your life from hurt or from healing. A question that has really helped me is to ask yourself "am I acting this way because I feel hurt" or "am I acting this way from a place of love". By asking myself this question I have been able to make daily choices based on the latter and it really has made a tremendous difference in the quality of my life.
Here are a some more tips for healing your inner child:
- The next time you feel triggered; pause and ask your inner child; what do you need to feel safe?
- Ask yourself everyday 'what would someone who loves themselves do?' and set the intention to make choices accordingly.
- Ask the question 'who was I, before my trauma? Before society got its hands on me? Before I changed myself to fit in? What were my dreams and aspirations before I developed concerns about money?
- Start a journal with the intention of making a safe space to hear your inner child's needs, wants, deepest desires and feelings. Use the questions above as prompts.
- Rose Quartz, Unakite and Rhodolite are amazing crystals for healing your inner child and heart chakra
- Surround yourself with people who have a healthy relationship with their own inner child (i.e those who embrace their own playful, adventurous, creativity and passionate nature)
- Make self-care a priority (practice self care before you give your love to others - this helps to make sure your cup is full first while also ensuring the love you give others is unconditional love)
- Follow your passion and joy
- Look at photos of you when you were a child and were really happy. Ask yourself, what was happening at that time? Where was I? Who was I with? What was I doing? These questions can really help you to recover those long lost parts of you that brought you joy as a child.
- Ask yourself, would I put my child through this? If the answer is no, there is a high chance that your own inner child would also not want to be put through it.
- Look at outlets where you can be creative. Even if you think you are not a creative person, give it a go! You might surprise yourself! Some examples of things you can a try: painting, drawing, photography, jewellery making, sewing, collage making, cooking, gardening, writing, poetry, poetry, music and dancing.
- Practice some inner child healing meditations, here is one I really recommend: Heal Your Inner Child | Free Yourself from Trauma | 417Hz Healing Frequency Meditation & Sleep Music
Until next time,
Lots of love,
Miss Molly
